The Price of War
Topic: Family

Belles of St. Mary's after winning a National Championship contest in Minneapolis. I'm in the front row; sixth from the right.
--------
"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger the drill sargent of my psyche, "When I was a kid, I marched with the CYO drill team - The Belles of St. Mary's. I marched with squads of teenagers on Veterans Day, and other holidays, through the streets of Boston and neighboring communities in our crisp red, white and blue uniforms and shiny spit polished white boots."

'Right flank - right,' Mr. Tiger commanded .

"The Veterans Day parades stand out for me, not because I was especially patriotic but because of the people behind the waving flags and cheering crowds. They were wives, mothers, fathers, sisters or brothers of the men whose service we honored," I recalled for him. "Many of them had lost a family member or a close friend."

'About Face,' yelled Tiger.

Playing along, I said back, "At ease."

My thoughts drifted back to another Veteran's Day from our small New England town - Hull, Massachusetts.

When I marched with the Belles, my main concerns were for my appearance, staying in step with the team, and falling out to a soda and and ice cream at the Hull Village playground, after the parade.

While I stood in prayer at our local cemetery, looking over to my family home, which was as close as a stones throw from where The Belles of St. Mary's stood in formation that day, I thought of my father's brother - my uncle John - who died at the ripe old age of 29 in The Bataan Death March.

"Were the other dead soldiers as loved as my uncle John was? Would the gaping hole I felt in my heart for those who died, ever go away? Was the price of war worth it?" I wondered all at once.

Today as we fight a war that didn't have to be, and as Bush & Company continue with the same old lies and the same old sour tune - I'd have to say, I still feel as I did all those years ago. I'd have to say, "We just can't justify the cost."


"By illegally using hundreds of tons of depleted uranium (DU) against Iraq ~ Britain and America have gravely endangered not only the Iraqis but the whole world." Dr. Chris Busby, the British radiation expert and UK representative on the European Committee on Radiation Risk .

Now Playing - The Real Donald Rumsfeld
Topic: Political

"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, the not so funny pest within, "now that Rumsfeld is gone I can hope he'll be tried for war crimes."

'Are you kidding me?'

"I'm as serious as I've ever been," I answered, "and I think you will be too if you take the time to watch this Jon Stewart Daily Show clip where Rumsfeld is the target."

'Jon Stewart's a comedian."

"Yes," I responded, before adding a question. "Have you ever heard of the saying 'honey makes the medicine go down?"

Forgetting to play dumb, Tiger answered, 'Sure.'

I came back with, "Comedians know that it's through the avenue of humor," I said, hoping Tiger understand what I meant, "that people are more able to swallow what is otherwise hard to take."

With that I posted the YouTube video.

Bright Ideas
Topic: Thirteen Thursday



"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, low wattage pest of my psyche, "I'm doing my Thirteen Thursday with the idea of fresh perspectives."

'Is this going to be political?' asked Mr. Tiger who was happy to be done with anything revolving around the midterm elections, 'because fresh perspective are the words Bush used yesterday for the appointment of the new secretary of defense Robert M. Gates - the one replacing Donald Rumsfeld.'

I'm sure I could come up with at least thirteen reasons I was glad to see Rumy replaced and another thirteen showing that it should not be with the former director of the CIA, Robert Graves, but that was not my plan for today. I said to Mr. Tiger, "Since my list has nothing to do with the Democratic party win, nor is it about Texas's good ol' boy network, I'll call this Thirteen Thursday bright ideas."

Before Mr. Tiger had time to speak, I jumped right in with my 13 beginning with the "LouseBuster." Imagine a supped up blow dryer that kills lice! A bright idea that any parent would love, especially if their own children have had the nasty critters and had to use the highly toxic chemical shampoos to get rid of them.

1. Researchers Devise New Weapon for Head Lice
?We think that it works by drying them out,? said the lead author of the study, Dr. Dale H. Clayton, a biologist at the University of Utah. ?The key is volume of air, not heat.? The report appears in the current issue of Pediatrics. read more here.

2. V.Smile? Baby Infant Development System
An activity center that's got lots of different facets to explore with baby. It's easily portable and comes with a separate receiver that plugs into the TV to allow for interactive on-screen play.
picture here.

3. "Little Fretty"
Pocket sized, Little Freddie is recommended for musicians of all skill levels and is great for warm up, practice or rehearsal. He doesn't make any sound so you can jam away without disturbing your neighbors, parents, spouse, friends or fellow musicians, although you may imagine hearing him in your head. He is made of a space age, hard foam type material, engineered to give a 3-Dimensional feel of the guitar neck, frets and strings and gives a pressure resistance to build playing strength and ability

4. Dust Art
As a kid there was nothing like dragging your finger across the dirty back window of your mom's minivan. Imagine lifting your finger to find you've created a Mona Lisa on the rear glass. Scott Wade of San Marcos, TX is perhaps the only person who could say he's done this.
Continue reading and see amazing pictures here

5. Rent designer jewelry for your holiday party
Are you looking to impress some people at your holiday parties this year? You can rent high-end jewelry from a website called bagborroworsteal.com.

6. Bag Borrow or Steal
a new online handbag "store" that works the same way NetFlix and GameFly do for movies and video games.

7. Eyelashes taken to the extreme
for me, these false eyelashes seem more like a Halloween leftover, but for others it might be a bright idea whose time has come.

8. Bebi Ravi, which means "Baby's Delight,"
is a company that helps out women in Nakurua, Kenya

9. Feline Furniture
for cat lovers everywhere scratching posts and plastic kitty litter boxes may become a thing of the past.
(after raising 9 kids my mother is raising Jazzy, a kitten gifted to her after my dad passed away last year)

10. Wallpaper-by-Numbers
paint by numbers wallpaper and borders

11. Disabled Artist Network
I haven't had time to look yet, but this quote is enticing: "Art you will Love - People you will never Forget"

12. Table Settings
Just in time for Thanksgiving, inspiration for beautiful table settings
A.Nanette Lepore
B.a href="http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/template/catC35.jhtml?itemId=cat11970741&parentId=cat11970739&masterId=cat3520749&cmCat=">Jay Strongwater
C.Valentino
D. I'll be using my trusty old Blue Onion, which I've used now for over 30 years during holiday gatherings.

last but not least...
13. BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS
whether new or old books are always a bight idea!

Who's BLUE Now?
Topic: Political
"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, the petulance within, "the Democrats have gained and so have we."

'How so?' asked Mr. Tiger who must have have spend the last twenty four hours under a rock.

"They've taken control of the House of Representatives and Senate," I answered, "for the first time in 12 years," I added, "which translates to, a loud message for Bush."

'Too close to call,' yawned the stubborn pest, 'absentee ballots, recounts, etcetera, etcetera. Too early to tell.'

I knew there were glitches in the electronic voting machine (what else is new?) but I didn't follow up with that because it won't change the results of millions of votes. I chose to say instead, "The economy, government corruption, scandals, the illegal war in Iraq, etcetera, etcetera," thinking as I said it that the timing for the Saddam guilty verdict did not work as the Republicans had hoped it would.

I thought of the genius of our system created by our founding fathers and ended with, "Congratulations to the American people. And congratulations as well to Duval Patrick."

---
Duval Patrick wins by a landslide. The first African-American elected governor of Massachusetts. See page one of Boston Globe article: It's Patrick in a romp - Bay State win makes history.

Voting Today
Topic: Political

"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, the pest who actively tracks my thinking, "those phone calls during dinner last night were so so soooo annoying - the ones from everyone and his brother wanting a vote for their candidate. It's enough to cause me to stay away from the polls."

The close-minded beast said, 'You're finally smarting up.'

I laughed, for indeed I had asked for that one. I said to him, "Yeah, finally."

He didn't expect that from me, nor would he accept it. 'What'd out of your mind?' he asked, his voice growing considerably smaller.

"Yup," I answered loudly and through another laugh, "I'm so out of my mind, I think my vote will make some kind of difference, when in reality I know otherwise."

'You do?'

"I do."

Our conversation kick-started my thinking.

Could the "Get out the vote" slogan be over tired and over used? Do most people assume their vote really counts one way or the other? Or could the reason some don't even cast one, be because they feel it's a waste of their time? Has what was once a source of pride - voting - become a duty instead of a novel idea that helped make our country great? Can we trust the electronic voting software? Could the huge cost of campaign spending - a hefty $42.8 million for the gubernatorial candidates in Massachusetts - be part of what's gone sour? Or is it the negative campaigning that tastes so bad? Who still thinks it's possible for anyone to grow up to become governor or president? Is money what it takes, or are our steadfast values still part of the equation?

So many questions.

One that is downright scary for me is; what will happen if we continue along the same road we've been traveling since Bush took office?

I knew I'd be voting today.

Bringing our Hearts Together
Topic: Family
"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, brazen beast within, "yesterday at church..."

The sassy Mr. Tiger abruptly interrupted before I could even finish my sentence. 'Since when do you go to church?' he snapped.

We could have entered into a long discourse about the nature of my spirituality; that being, that Life, with a capital L, is my church and religion. I hesitated though to go there with the pest, Mr. Tiger, because I didn't have the energy to deal with that particular topic today. I said instead, "I went to church yesterday for my mother's sake Tige," adding, "she wanted her children beside her for Feast of All Souls Day - a day the Catholic Church annually reserves for those who have preceded us in death. Yesterday we lit candles for the Faithful Departed in memory of my dad who passed away on November 28, 2005." I tacked on after a silent moment, "I'm thankful that I went."

There was really no way to bring today's discussion to a close, for it had hardly begun.

I opted to use a quote from my sister Sherry whose humbly expressed words this morning on our family's email chain, summed up the strain we were all feeling at this time last year. Sherry said, "I can't believe we all lived thru last year" to which another sister, who attended yesterday's mass before another for her young niece Jenna, also agreed. We all did. "I can't believe we lived through it either Sherry," said Tricia.

There wasn't much left to say so I ended today's entry with a picture of myself and my dad and a portion of a post originally published on December 5, 2005 at our father's funeral mass.

The eulogy of almost a year ago, was opened with a piece, Let Me Clue You in about My Father, written and read first by my sister Colleen for his 80th birthday and then again on the alter during a three part oration. My brother Joe told those in attendance about how our dad always encouraged him, in spite of his dyslexia - to build his first house, his second house, his third house - which eventually grew into the thriving construction company he owns today.

My contribution to father's eulogy follows:

The other morning I woke up with the words, "his contract was up" on my lips.

Our dad had fulfilled his end of the contract after raising 9 children - two of whom he and my mother buried.

I looked at these words as a message from those on the other side who invisibly hold us close when times get rough. Those words were a perfect way to explain our father's departure, for indeed "his contract was up" and no matter how much he loved his job here on earth, he had been letting us know, since the car accident that broke his neck on Oct 17th, that his "contract was up." The 42 days of hospital care had drawn to a close.

He wasn't going to do it the way Jimmy did. He knew the harshness of sudden accidental death and wouldn't put his family through that again.
He wasn't going to do it the way Danny did either - with a long lingering disease that sucked the life out of him.

The 42 days of hospital care was a gift to us, his family - it was to help us adjust to the end of his contract, even while we visited daily to root him on to health.

On the 42nd day my father said to my mother and sister Sherry, "today is the day." How could they have known that that meant it was the end of his contract?

Sherry's email that night excitedly informed us of his words that she and my mother took to mean a new beginning; for indeed it looked that way.
It turned out to be his best day.
He was up in a wheel chair for the first time.
He was talking lucidly for the first time in weeks.

Sherry told us too that he kept looking at the calendar. Did he know? Did he know that an extension to his contract would have been too hard? Too hard for not only himself but also his beloved Barbara who was his rock.
Looking back, I'd have to say that I think so.

The Tipping Point
Topic: Political
"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger the contumelious pest of my psyche, "Yesterday when we were talking, I said to you - "Speaking of the gubernatorial race, did you hear that John DePetro, one of the conservative mouth pieces on WRKO, called Green-Rainbow Party gubernatorial candidate Grace Ross a fat lesbian while on the air?"


'Yeah, I heard that,' answered Mr. Tiger, for the second time in two days.

"Well," I said as I collected my thoughts, "Seems as though DePetro's derogatory comments won't keep him off the air for long."

'Good,' said Tiger, 'the station is taking him back? Good,' he said again.

"No, thank goodness, not WRKO," I answered. "Jessica Heslam of The Boston Herald reports - DePetro, who has retained an attorney, said yesterday that a number of radio stations in Boston, New England, Washington, D.C, New York City, as well as talent agents and a network program have reached out to him since Friday's firing.
All of them have said they did not regard what I said as a fireable offense," said DePetro, whose board operator, Jimmy Kiesling, was also fired.

'Your point?' snarled the pest.

"My point matches Paul Sullivan's, the morning host at WBZ-AM, another Boston radio station, and is mentioned in the same article where he said, "I am sure that he would not have been fired for that if it had just been for that. This is something that had reached a tipping point, evidently."

I thought of the late Jerry Williams - the dean of talk radio - who I tip my hat to for sparking my interest for things other than what was my life at the time; wife and mother. After my memories settled down, I said to Tiger, "I used to listen to talk radio a lot. But it sure has changed, along with the politics of old and before LIBERAL was considered a four-letter-word."

'What has this got to do with the talk jock, DePetro?' asked Tiger right on cue.

"Everything!" I screamed before calming myself enough to say, "While driving, I still listen to talk radio and once in awhile, if I could stomach him, I'd listen to the insensitive and ignorant DePetro. He and other blabmeisters from this new and alternate universe, most definitely are not what they used to be and are NOT, these days, my means of gathering information. To get to the real truth, I now prefer to examine the views of those from another medium - the blogosphere."

I stated firmly, "While good news is not in demise, this YouTube video, which I first viewed over at Below Boston, articulates the tipping point that many of us are feeling since the days of good talk radio with the one of a kind - Jerry Williams."

Getting Uglier

Hey Tige, I said to Mr. Tiger, the inner pest who aims to rule over my every decision, yesterday one of the gubernatorial hopefuls, Kerry Healey, was champaigning at the Venetian, the restaurant where I work. I actually liked her, I added, although I doubt I'll be voting for her.

'Because of the dysfunction within the Bush administration?' asked Mr. Tiger in his best voice of authority, which he regularly uses when attempting to influence my thinking.

"That's right Tiger, and boy oh boy is dysfunction everywhere," I responded while wondering what he had up his sleeve. I guessed it had something to do with turning the tables in order to get me to vote for a Republican.

I wouldn't have it. I took a turn of my own and said, "Speaking of the gubernatorial race, did you hear that John DePetro, one of the conservative mouth pieces on WRKO, called Green-Rainbow Party gubernatorial candidate Grace Ross a fat lesbian while on the air?"


'Yeah, I heard that,' answered Mr. Tiger, suddenly in a different kind of mood, 'and he got fired for voicing an opinion.'

"Yup, WRKO station management fired him," I agreed adding for clarity sake, "Here's what DePetro had to say Friday to mock Grace Ross' appearance on the Thursday night's gubernatorial televised debate."

"I could go now a lifetime without Grace Ross."
"She has nerve. This whole business of 'well since we're being ignored.'
"No, you're irrelevant. Get off the stage!"
"I couldn't stand her at the end. At one point I was about to yell: "Will somebody tell that fat lesbian to shut up. . . .
"Shut up. Go home. Burger King is looking for another third-shift person to work the grill. Enough."
"I was traumatized by you being on the stage."

'You're a believer in free speech,' cut in Mr. Tiger.

"Indeed I am!" I exclaimed, "but you know, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed."


Post note: To see pictures and to learn more about the candidates, visit DECISION 2006 at WRKO radio.

When Going to the Polls...
Topic: Thirteen Thursday

"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, the pest who seizes any opportunity to divert my attention from important subjects, "I know it's not exactly popular to do a Thirteen Thursday on political issues but since election day is less than a week away I'm going to go for it."

'People like light posts on Thursday Kath,' said Mr. Tiger, 'you won't get many comments.'

"I know that Tiger, that's okay," I said before saying, "Here's my list of 13 things to keep in mind when going to the Polls."

Thirteen Things to keep in mind when you VOTE next Tuesday. 1. The not-so-smart remarks by Senator John F. Kerry, a combat veteran, about the underachieving students being stuck in Iraq is a false controversy, in my opinion, when you consider the bigger picture... 2. Neither Kerry and Bush excelled academically while at Yale. 3. Kerry may indeed deserve some criticism for stepping on his tongue but hasn't Bush done the same thing - hundreds of times. 4. The state of the deficient is more important than Kerry's remarks. Healthcare is more important. ?Energy is more important. Pentagon budget / unnecessary spending is more important. as are these... 5. Civilian deaths are still rising .....BAGHDAD (Reuters) - By Alastair Macdonald The number of Iraqi civilians killed in violence may have jumped to another record high in October. Statistics issued by the Interior Ministry for Iraqis killed in political violence put civilian deaths last month at 1,289, nearly 42 a day and up 18 percent from the 1,089 seen in September, itself a record for this particular series of data. 6. Insurgents Are Targeting US Forces .....October's death toll, the highest for American forces in nearly two years, came during a period without conventional battles or catastrophic helicopter crashes. 7. DU (depleted uranium) Death Toll Tops 11,000 .....Nationwide Media Blackout Keeps U.S. Public Ignorant About This Important Story 8. Bush Signs the Reichstag Fire Decree .....With a flip of the wrist, Bush signed into law the anti-Habeas Corpus, pro-torture law (cleverly repackaged as the Military Commissions Act of 2006), signaling with it the end of American democracy. 9. Alleged corrupt arms deals cost Iraq US $800 Million .....Iraq's former finance minister alleged in a U.S. television report aired Sunday that up to US$800 million meant to equip the Iraqi army had been stolen from the government by former officials through fraudulent arms deals. 10. Mental health crisis haunts front line U.S. soldiers serving in Iraq 11. Diebold's backdoors were designed into the machines intentionally ....Latest security vulnerability in paperless electronic voting underscores urgent need for Paper Trail Auditing 12. Tell your Representative to support Rep. Peter DeFazio's resolution requiring a Congressional vote prior to military action against Iran. 13. The above are consequences of our March 2003 invasion. What if the official?9/11 story were not be true? ....Judge for yourself by watching this 10 Minute video. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)

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Clay Pots
Topic: Art / Creativity
"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, the crackpot within, "It's a little too warm to blog today. I've spent most of it cleaning my closet - got the summer stuff put away and the fall and winter clothes are finally out of the attic because, of course, I'll be needing them soon - days like today will be few and far between."

'Well, if you aren't going to blog - what are you doing here?' asked the pest in a voice that was colder than the day.

"I've plenty of posts from my first blog - the one I accidently deleted," I told him. "I'll just find one of those and make a fast entry before I spend some time in my yard."

'Suit yourself,' he said, which is exactly what I did.

This entry first appeared on Monday, April 10, 2006

Clay Pots - Take Two

"Perfection, I call any simple quality, if it is positive and absolute, such that, if it expresses something, it does so without limits." - Gottfried Leibniz

"Hey Tige," I said to Mr. Tiger, the egocentric pest who thinks he is perfect, "have you ever felt that our lives are guided by larger forces?"

'Not so fast,' said Mr. Tiger before a flatly stated, 'What?'

"I'm talking about my nephew Josh. You can read about how he has been recently honored with a research grant for his technical skill and artistic mastery, at my sister Colleen's Loose Leaf Notes," I told Tiger before saying, "Josh has been guided to follow this path, first by his mother's creative parenting, his studies, and no doubt by other very real energies."

'Anyone can be a potter,' cut in Mr. Tiger, 'Jeeze - little kids play with clay all the time.'

"Yes, Josh began working with clay as a kid," I replied quickly and added to that, "and yes, it's the clay indeed that offers the potential for meaningful expression, but clay is just a clump of earth, until an artists hands, mind and imagination molds it."

'It's all mass production today,' said Mr. Tiger, defending his point of view, 'all you need is a potter's wheel. Anyone can do it.'

"The potter's wheel revolutionized pottery production, Tige, that's true," and after a pause I added, "sometime between 6,000 and 2,400 BC."

Mr. Tiger ended with an shrug and I ended with a story about two clay pots.

A water bearer in China had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house.

Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table.

Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."